Can I Survive Four, or Five or Ten More Years of This? — Two whole days. My daughter’s been at college for two interminably long days and I’m already losing it. Not in a “I need to pick her up right now and lock her in her childhood bedroom until 2036” way, but more like a “I’ve failed as a mother because I…

Dreaming of a PBR 6-pack or even a 4-pack of expensive craft beer — While doom-scrolling like a normal person, the uni-meta-verse serves up this gem — 25 Stylish Dresses That Disguise the Stomach. What’s going on here? Does even the Instagram algorithm know about my lifelong insecurities? To be fair to social media, my stomach is not great. For as long as I…

Can a transplanted Californian leave her California attitude behind? Californians are assholes. Especially those of us who hail from Southern California — the unending 200-mile snake of traffic and press of humanity from northern Los Angeles County to the Mexican border. We act as if we’re smarter, better looking, and…

You don’t want to be the idiot you were at 21. Embrace change and keep learning. — I’m tired of hearing that “50 is the new 30,” “Orange is the new Black,” or “Ye is the new Kanye.” Why can’t 50 be the new 50, new be the new new, and Kanye just shut up? I truly don’t want to be 20 or 30 or 40 again…

Bully my daughter? Be prepared for the wrath of soccer-Mom — One shouldn’t have an archenemy unless you identify as Spiderman, Batman, or Superman. I’m not central to the Marvel or DC Universe, megaverse, metaverse, multiverse, or whatever our dystopian future holds. But I do have an archenemy. At the time of reckoning, he was 7 and I was 41. Things…

Just follow the “simple” instructions — Like many people, I’ve put off some routine medical testing and exams lately. I’m not proud it’s been a few years, but today’s the day! First up, an exceptionally tall, muscular and cute dude in light green scrubs perfectly matching his mesmerizing eyes, hands me a preemie-sized sippy-cup and points…

Swimming again after 40 years — 1981. Eleven-year-old me confidently stares down the competition on the swim deck at the city-wide Allied Gardens swim meet. I was taught not to brag, but I was assuredly coming home with multiple gold colored plastic medals, culminating in the 4 x 100 meter freestyle relay. As the best on…

Does anyone even try anymore? I really don’t want to be THAT person. You know, the ninety-year-old curmudgeon that complains about how superlative their generation is and how clueless every other generation was before or since? But a recent Zoom meeting, the end of Crockpot season, and the deteriorating geopolitical…

A trip to Italy reveals more than dramatic architecture and sublime pasta — Dreams of Italy should be dominated by breathtaking vistas over azure blue waters, strolls down quaint, narrow streets and spaghetti carbonara. Thoughts of personal failure, “fat” clothes, or cellulite shouldn’t hijack them. My family’s 2019 trip to Italy started years before, when my family agreed to host an exchange student…