Aging
Why Can’t 50 Be the New 50?
You don’t want to be the idiot you were at 21. Embrace change and keep learning.
I’m tired of hearing that “50 is the new 30,” “Orange is the new Black,” or “Ye is the new Kanye.” Why can’t 50 be the new 50, new be the new new, and Kanye just shut up?
I truly don’t want to be 20 or 30 or 40 again. I was a unique variety of disaster in each of those decades. Neither the major in Organic Chemistry nor the multi-level marketing leggings biz worked out. I recently celebrated a milestone birthday, and it wasn’t twenty (thankfully).
“You look good for 50.” Translation: “Doesn’t your plastic surgeon brother give you free Botox?”
“You don’t look a day over 35.” Translation: “Those extra 50 pounds sure do keep those wrinkles at bay. In-N-Out burger?”
“Girl, you know what they say, ‘50 is the new 30'.” Translation: “You don’t look like an extra from The Walking Dead, or one of those shriveled dolls Laura Ingalls made from fallen apples, so you must be doin’ something right.” And don’t call me “girl.”
There is no need to belabor the world’s preoccupation with youth, women fighting aging, women lying about their age, or the crushing pressure to be, wish you were, or feel younger than you are…
